If You Are Cringing At My Christmas Post, Then I Wrote It For You

You probably saw this floating around Facebook recently and chuckled to yourself as I did because we all know that one person or department store(s) that comes to mind, right??  I think I even 'liked' this picture on several of your pages. We aren't even halfway through October and the aisles are already being set up for Christmas. The mummy's haven't been able to gather dust yet! Therefore, I am writing a post on Christmas, because I decided...I was wrong.  What I learned this week is two negatives DO make a positive.  I was irritated about the Christmas decor and memes coming out so soon, and then I realized yesterday I was also irritated subconsciously that apparently we don't do it enough. Confused yet?  Welcome to my poor husband's life. Read on... Every Monday we do family night where a member of our family prepares a spiritual lesson to share with the rest of the family or we all study a lesson and share what we each got out of it.  Last night, Nathan was in charge and decided to show us a short Christmas video.  Immediately, I was slightly annoyed because I thought he went for the easy out by picking a Christmas video...that he didn't take the time to research something else.    The video was about giving gifts to the Savior, rather than receiving gifts or buying gifts for others.  Immediately after Nathan says, "Okay, Mom, what did you learn from that?" I hesitated for a minute  because I knew he wasn't going to like what I had to say since the video irritated me as I watched it more than it got me into the Christmas spirit.  I was irritated because it was based around Christmas. After understanding the message of it, I questioned why couldn't this have been done around Valentine's Day, a Birthday, or even an Anniversary for that matter.  The same message applies.  Why do we only associate when we should be giving something of ourselves to Jesus Christ only at Christmastime? I saw the stunned and worried look on his face that his fantastic lesson idea may have backfired, so I went on to explain... Christmas is generally a magical time of year and I don't believe it is due to the decor, the holiday sales, Santa Clause or the gifts.  Symbolically, these things can lead our thoughts to why Christmas exists.  Think of how many individuals are singing and listening to Christmas carols during the month of December...they are singing and hearing testimony of Him.  Think of how many are volunteering at shelters, hospitals, nursing homes, or serving their neighbors and friends...they are serving as He would and being His hands to many in need.  Holiday shows and movies typically have messages of hope, love, and charity...messages He taught and continues to teach for our hearts to be touched so we can become better.  Christmastime is magical simply because of the light of Christ that is in the hearts, minds, and eyes of individuals.   People are generally happier, more hopeful, kinder, more giving as well as forgiving during Christmas.  So why should this be only a once a year occurrence?   If you know an individual who is full of joy and happiness and has a light about them, then you know, generally, these are individuals who demonstrate hope, love, kindness, charity, and forgiveness on a regular daily basis-regardless of the date.  Therefore, if you want to be happier and have more joy in your life then put these Christmas practices into action more consistently. The message Nathan shared was perfect, so perfect that I'm saddened so many feel or experience it only once a year.  So to all you early Christmas goers:  If decorating, listening to carols, and watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas can give you reminders of where to find joy and happiness and likewise give you the desire to serve your fellowmen with kindness and charity---then by all means--decorate, sing, and watch because now more than ever, our world needs it.  I applaud you for seeking for it. I am grateful for Nathan and his childlike humbleness to bring a Christmas message at a random time of year and all children for that matter who do such a better job of consistently typifying of Christ than most adults.    

80/20 Vision

I've had to swallow my pride, put on my big girl pants and take my own advice this last week.  I hate when that happens.  I had to rely on my 80/20 vision.
I've come up with a theory.  Well, I thought I did until I just googled it to make sure.  It's called 80/20.  I thought I was a genius--come to find out there are other geniuses out there using similar theories, but are gearing it towards business and success and focusing on the "20".   My 80/20 is about life and happiness and focusing on the "80".
I love people and relationships.  A great passion in my life is getting past superficial conversations and truly getting to know someone.  I am amazed at times how asking one or two basic questions will leave me sitting back for half an hour learning about the life experiences of another human being.  I've learned so much from each individual and many times use their experiences to better shape mine. 
This is a big generalization and realize it isn't the same for each individual in every situation, but in my experience with these hundreds of conversations is the average ratio of satisfaction to dissatisfaction in our lives is 80/20. 

 Look, nothing and no one is perfect- and that's a good thing. The ones who smile and say everything is perfect are the ones I know aren't being completely honest with themselves.  If everything were perfect, we couldn't learn how to appreciate and be grateful. In every aspect of my own life I can apply this and maybe you can too. 

 Examples: *I'm generally satisfied with 80% of the way I am, but wish there was about 20% I could change. (Physically and Emotionally)
* I completely love 80% of my spouse, but there is 20% of him that drives me bonkers.
* I appreciate 80% of my home, but there are about 20% of projects I wish to commence immediately.
* 80%  enjoyment of my job,  20 % of the nonsense makes me want to quit.
* 80% absolutely love being a mother, but there are those definite 20% days where I ask, "What have I done, when does the craziness end?"
*Enjoy my pets 80% of the time, the other 20% is made up of shedding, grooming, and finding babysitters for vacations.
*Love living in the desert 80% of the time, 20% is like living in hell.
The list can go on and on, but what it boils down to me is:
*80% of joy and happiness, 20% of fear, pain, and loss.

The difference between individuals who were content and happy in life versus those who were less than satisfied or had made poor decisions rested on the principle of what number they chose to focus on- the 80 or the 20.
Many who were discontent were so focused in on the 20% they felt were lacking that they spent years searching for it, stayed awake at night thinking about it, and slowly blinded themselves from the 80% which was right in front of them until years later they may have found the 20, but in the process, lost the 80.
I've used this with my kids.  Brynna recently was talking about the things she was missing out on in life- driving being one of them.  I had to turn the focus on all the things she CAN do (80) and not focusing on what she can't (20).  It's truly amazing by focusing on the big 8-0, how blessed you suddenly realize you are and almost immediately her mood changed.
So this week my husband was playing old family videos where I saw my kids as babies and toddlers.  I walked around the house all depressed and lonely for a couple of days because I've realized how fast time has gone and how independent they are and barely need me---today, I had a voice in my head that said, "Think of the 80."    Within minutes a bounce in my step returned as I became suddenly aware that I've been given an opportunity to raise children- a blessing not given to all, and that I've only just experienced a snippet of their lives, so much more is yet to come. As I've put this to use in my life, not only does the 20 hold less weight when focused on the 80, but I've also learned to embrace it.  We need the opposite to appreciate, rejoice, and come to a knowledge of what good we have to celebrate.  We also need the 20 to re-evaluate and make steps towards progression where needed.  Again, it's okay to have the 20, but it's not okay to linger with it, go on vacations with it, or move in with it and let it mess with our heads and hearts.
So if you're struggling today, find your 80/20 vision.  Let it open your eyes to all that is good in your world, there is so much to be discovered and remembered.