Since When Did Santa Become the Bad Guy?

Yes, his name rearranged spells Satan.  Yes, he is make believe.  Yes, he carries a lot of hype.  And yes, the line between those who love and hate him is becoming clearer.
This entry is based on my thoughts and is not meant to knock on anyone else's, but I've been assured by my husband that I will definitely ruffle some feathers, and probably more so than with the trophies and birthday bag post.  
Let me start with my youth.  I come from a Christian family.  We believed in Santa as children.  I stayed awake almost all night once hidden behind the sofa with my camera determined I would get proof of his existence.  Many Christmas mornings he never let me down as the stash of presents lay under the tree.  I wrote him letters, sat on his lap, laid out the plate of cookies, and imagined what I'd say to him if I ever saw him (you know, the real one who came Christmas Eve).  I was jealous watching Christmas specials when the kids in the show ACTUALLY got to talk and be with him.  Santa was magical, gave me hope and made me feel loved.
As a child I also had a knowledge of Jesus Christ.  I never prayed, read scriptures, or really knew any  Bible stories well enough to tell them.  I only attended church a handful of times throughout the year.  Yet, I specifically remember when the Christmas tree was up and I gazed upon it, I thought about the nativity and the birth of the Savior and never did my thoughts turn to Santa.  I played with the nativity scene that was on the coffee table...from the beginning with the angel visiting Mary to the end with the baby being laid in the manger.   I would sing hymns around the house, dress my Barbie's like Joseph and Mary, and knew in my heart what Christmas was about.  One of my most memorable experiences was a dream I had.  I was probably about 8 or 9 years old at the time.  In my dream I was sitting at a long table, and when I say long, it went on forever.  Every seat was filled with other children.  They were speaking excitedly to each other about what was happening and when 'He' would get there.  As I looked down the table to the one being honored as he entered...it was Jesus, and we were there to celebrate his birthday with him.  When I saw him it was magical, gave me hope, and I felt loved.
How was I able to have such a clear understanding and separate each?  I don't know.  It's possible maybe we don't give kids enough credit for what they know...even if they don't say it.  Here I was, a young child with a very BASIC understanding and yet completely understood.  
Yes, my parents lied to me and told me there was a Santa Claus.  Do I hold it against them?  No. Do I even consider it a 'lie'?  No.  Did I lose faith in things?  No.  I am thankful to them for allowing me to be a child and imagine I was a dolphin trainer, Princess Leia, and that there was a Santa.  Make believe as a child is what made childhood magical to me and gave me hope I could be anything and do anything as an adult. 
Another thing I've been hearing lately is that in some homes Santa brings one gift because the parents want the credit for giving most of the gifts.  Um, you are the same person.  O.k., so maybe your kids don't know that and will thank you for their presents..for ONE second, but in the end does it matter who gets the credit?  And if Santa is going to be responsible for bringing the 'slop', then what's that to look forward to as a kid?  When did we become so consumed with who gave who what?  Geez, give Santa a break...(well actually you are because apparently he isn't making as many toys.)
I understand the deeper meaning.  Parents want their kids to understand what the 'true' meaning of Christmas is...without the hype and without feelings of 'receiving.'  I know where the focus of the teachings need to be and we strive hard in our home to do that.  I'm having a harder time with those who choose not to believe in Santa who look upon me as a heathen because we do allow our kids to believe.  I will not push Santa on anyone, but I do not appreciate those who think I have a less Christ-centered Christmas because Santa is spoken of in my home.   Santa is not the bad guy.  The bad guy is when Christ is not spoken of or taught during Christmas or when the emphasis is placed on 'things.'  The bad guy can be the malls, or Kohl's...with their BIGGEST sale of the season (every other day), or anything that tries to monopolize on the meaning of Christmas.  Santa, to me, will always be the good guy who was a part of my childhood that happy memories are associated with.  ***UPDATE...A friend of mine shared this quote with me from President Faust.  Find it here.Thanks Elise.
Actually, speaking of 'bad guys'...who came up with this one?   The 'upside down' Christmas tree:

We saw this trend starting last year.  Seriously, someone explain this to me.  What's next year...sideways trees?  Folks, we have worse problems than Santa.  

Eternally Grateful

I have much to be grateful for, but I have something very specific in mind.  This post may make you puke.  It may lead you to think I'm bragging about my spouse.  Or you may be grateful you don't live with all the 'sap.' But, since it meant a lot to me I want it on record to remember, especially on the days when I want to wring his neck for buying an overly expensive T.V.
Not too long ago, Jason and I were discussing who we are...our strengths and weaknesses and spoke of what our individuality meant to ourselves, each other, and in life generally...one of those conversations that you would love to be a fly on the wall for.  Very, very raw.
Jason began to use an analogy. He often will use visuals for explanations.  At first it threw me, but when he was done explaining his reasoning it became very poetic and very true to who he is.  He told me I was a 'flag' and he was a 'flagpole.' (Me:  huh?)  He proceeded to say that flags gain attention with all their brightness and are greatly admired.  It carries the primary focus and flies when it's raised in the air.  At first I was flattered,  but felt complete guilt the next second thinking of Jason as he described himself as a flagpole.  In thinking of a description of a  flag pole my thoughts went to words like:  plain, bare, and unnoticeable.  Immediately in concern asked why he would put himself down in a condescending sense.  And then truth was revealed.  He said, 'Yes, it does go unnoticed but without the solid foundation of the pole, the flag would never fly...and that is it's primary purpose.'He wasn't boasting, that isn't in his character.  He just described how I have felt our entire marriage.  I am  indebted to him for all he has done, is doing, and will do for me. He has made me soar in every possible way. And the only thing I feel I have offered him is maybe a personality 'face-lift' (seriously his personality has gone from a 3 to an 8) and have provided him with daily entertainment.  Very 'worldly' things.  He could have married anyone and still been who he is today.  I am confident in that knowledge and it is a very humbling thing. All I can do is my best to continue to love him with every ounce I have, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it could ever be enough.  I can tell you, I've never looked at a flagpole the same.  It truly is magnificent and I respect it's purpose with great admiration.
So, the question of the day is....are you a flag or a flagpole?

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Halloween Not So Sweet Treat

Around midnight was when I finally opened my Saturday paper.  My kitchen was dark so when I first tore off the rubber band and flipped it open...the golden glob in the middle perplexed me.  I bent my face down right in front of it to get a good look and then immediately and SLOWLY backed away after realizing my top news of the day wasn't the sad home loss of the Suns, but:

 ...in over 9 years I finally get to experience the joys of having a scorpion.  So thank you, Arizona Republic for sending me a very nice treat for Halloween.

Murdering for Fun on a Saturday Night

The Cast:(The Stevenson's, The Allen's, The Smith's, The Mitchells, The Fechters, The Calhoun's, The Barry's, The Tanner's, The Harris', The Pritchard's, The Jordan's, The Pribyl's, The Kellis')
In the past 9 years, this was by far the biggest murder mystery dinner party we've done.  There were things I loved about a big group and some I didn't.  I loved the ability to have so many involved and see the interaction between everyone.  I have realized, with bigger parties, our objectives don't allow the privilege of interacting with some of the other characters as often because there are so many story lines going on at once, some of which I didn't even know about until speaking with others AFTER the party.  I realized after the fact that it would've been better to interview or question everyone...not just the ones I was directly meant to for the game's sake.  Live and learn for next year.
Our theme was 'Cruising For Murder' set on the Mystery of the Seas cruise ship.  There were good characters, but it was more challenging for costumes this year not being set in a specific time period or huge diversity in the actual characters background's.  Our guests still managed to do a great job and I was blown away with how quickly they get into character...upon entering and throughout dinner.  I have to say that make believe is even more fun as an adult.

Having rained for a few days in the week, I was worried for how wet the ground would be or if we'd even be able to be outside, but it was perfect out for the evening.

I appreciate everyone who put time and effort into getting into their characters roles...it's only as fun as what people put into it....and it was so entertaining.  Many thanks!!

A.J. Service & Carrie StublingA.J. was a prescription drug ring lord ( obviously) and had me busting up anytime I even looked at him.  Carrie was a spoiled daughter of the Captain.  Anytime I saw her she was barking orders, giving someone the cold shoulder, or chomping her gum. 

The Barback and Margarita Rocks.  Margarita came away with Best Performer gift certificates to Ultrastar for her brilliant acting and singing skills.  She had several show tunes she performed occasionally through the night for money.  She left the crowd speechless.  The Barback couldn't take his eyes off Margarita and was  putting out fires...literally.

Buddy Call and Amanda Rebound.  Buddy could origami a towel into about anything.  My favorite was the bird of paradise.  As runner up to Best Performer I was disappointed that as the towel boy he didn't come in only a towel.  Amanda was on the prowl with her fantastic dress.  Whether setting romantic dinners or moving on to the next man...she carried herself in a way that let me know I never want to be on the rebound.  

Captain Stubling & Samantha Simpson.  The Captain led the evening and was an emotional wreck after the death of his love interest.  Samantha was an amazing ambassadress contestant.  So proper in every conversation and action...she walked with grace and told a handful of lies.

Charlie Charge and Dakota Wild.   Charlie never ceases to amaze me.  Last year, it was the silk white shirt...this year I was hypnotized with the fit of his white cotton pants. Dakota was everyone's favorite since she was the travel critic...especially since she acquired the most cash.  As the night's wealthiest player she went home with a half a million dollars (in shredded Federal Reserve currency).  Take note, she must be very skilled in blackmailing(?).  She obviously also got a bit of a sunburn on the cruise.

Dexter Handley and Liza James.   Dexter was Margarita's number one fan and had to be the winner of yelling out random things throughout the night.  Liza, having just graduated, was sailing with her father and fell in love with the towel boy.  Ok, who knew Candy Cann was her mother???  

Jeffery James and Kristy Marie.  Never had to interact with them.  Bummer.But, Melissa is always so innocent, right?  She was another ambassadress contestant. Poor Jeffery was widowed.  Again...Candy Cann's husband...who knew??!!

Officer Bullet and Passenger 'B' (from Corporate Office)The Officer had all guests under control with his cap gun while 'B' was so intense during the investigation, I thought for sure she would know who the murderer was.

Passengers Eddie and Danielle.  This was their first year and I think we confused them and they probably felt they were in a different dimension...nevertheless...they kept up and looked way too good for a costume party.

Penny Drop and Passenger 'C'.  Penny, another ambassadress contestant, somehow picked up a drinking problem.  I started to wonder if apple cider was the only thing going down the hatch.  Penny is hilarious in general, so this wasn't much of a stretch.  Again, Passenger 'C', no interaction...but anyone who has Penny on their arm HAS to have a sense of humor.

Tom Collins and Candy Cann.  While you may think Tom was the Chippendale dancer, he was actually the bartender and did a fabulous job serving the guests.  He won Best Dressed with a gift certificate to Babbo restaurant.  Was I the only one holding back from wanting to grab his chest??  Candy was on every woman's bad side for the night with the attention of every gentleman.  Candy didn't shy from performing on command.  

Wilbur and Wanda Wed.  Celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary on the Mystery of the Seas.  Wilbur spent much of his time with Candy and tried to profess his love to me through song and dance.  He was paid to stop and never do it again.

Gold digger.

The Victim...Candy Cann.  She was more upset that all her money was stolen at death rather than being killed.

The devil herself....the murderer.  Out of 26 people...only 2 suspected correctly.  Good job Jason Jordan and Lindsey!!
Until next year...

Minor Cost...Big Impact...SOMOS LIBRES!!!!!

We look forward to Halloween every year....it is one of my favorites.  I think we might spend more money on Halloween than Christmas.  Mostly, it's hard finding great deals on Halloween garb, not to mention, we usually have at least 4 different Halloween events and our costumes are different for each event.  I wish I could say I come up with good ideas on the fly but unfortunately, they usually come in the way of a sarcastic remark.  Case in point: this year's Halloween costume.  

Jason and I planned to follow Kelley's theme of Thriller and be fresh from the grave.  I was at Michael's on Thursday night buying the moss (fresh ground cover) to cover our clothing.  I ran into Megan and asked what she was going  as.  She seemed stressed, not knowing yet and contemplating NOT going.  That wasn't an option.  So I told her to make it easy....go as one of the rescued miners.  We joked about a couple other things and went on our way.  So as I'm driving home, the wheels start turning and next thing I know I'm talking to Nicole and we start working out a plan.  How I wish we could've got 33 people, but 11 wasn't bad for last minute notice:

Rescued Chilean Miners:  Adam and Anya Barry, Ken and Amanda Blakely, Joey and Megan Fechter, Melissa Jordan, Matt and Nicole Pribyl, and Jason and I.

Seriously, the cheapest costume ever.  My monkey suit was a goodwill buy from my trucker outfit from an earlier post, Matt got the construction hats and sunglasses, Kellis' offered the headlamps, $2 mustache, and free dirt and grime from my car tires and homemade Chilean flags.

We came in chanting and hollering....epic.

Kinda ironic after my previous post:

I really DO like trophies...and Kelley did an amazing job with them.  And heck, we earned it.

Chilean men are HOT!!

I must say, I did pretty good as a dude.  I heard many people question my sex as I walked past.  Some of my good friends didn't recognize me.  And looking like Nicole for the night confused Jason. 

Where all the sarcasm starts :

The Stevenson's costumes were awesome and won 2 trophies.

Scary Ghouls

Jake and Elwood...Janice even had the harmonica going.

Brett Michaels....our MC.  He was fantastic.

As usual, Chris did a fab job on D.J.  We danced the night away.

When I first saw Napoleon Dynamite, I thought...this is old news.  But once the dance came and he did it perfectly, I busted up.  Nope, it doesn't get old.

THRILLER

I missed out on many photos...too much time dancing.  Also my flash wasn't cooperating so I had lots that didn't turn out...so as others add to their blogs, I will be stealing and adding to mine so stay tuned.  If you ever need good Halloween costume ides...come to the blogs after a Smith party for all the pictures.

Alice and Laurant from Twilight.  No comment.

The beauty of Smith parties is that you don't really have to 'be' anything.  Anyone can come and win.  No one knew what this was all about, and yet he still somehow went home with 2 trophies:

The "What??" Costume and The Penny Pincher Costume

Lindsey and her Mom.  Coolest 80's zombie ever.

The talented, wonderful, hostess of the night...Kelley.  Thanks so much. XOXO

Offensive Rant #2145

WARNING:  IF YOU READ THIS...I'M 95% SURE YOU'LL BE OFFENDED.  PROCEED WITH CAUTION:


I've had several things on my mind for awhile that I've been anxious to get off my chest.  On most things I am fairly diplomatic, on others, I'm very opinionated.  Usually when I get opinionated I stir controversy and usually end up with less fans...but hey, it's my blog and I can write what I want to.


One of my big frustrations of today is the sense of entitlement people feel.  Just because one person has something...another feels they must have it too.  Self reliance and independence is becoming something of the past.  Today, the mentality is things are to be expected rather than worked for.  We are each the masters of our own destiny.  We are responsible for our success or our failure.  Why are we becoming such a culture of laziness?  I am greatly concerned for the upcoming rising generation.


I know I'm plenty guilty of giving my kids too much without requiring as much in return.  It's some false idea that 'giving' to them shows my love.  I'm too easily moved to give now rather than giving them an investment of lessons that will last a lifetime.  I'm working on it.


A huge area I see of concern is the lack many parents have of letting their children accept responsibility and consequences to their actions.  They feel by stepping in they will 'save' them.  I know they do this because they love them and no one likes to see their children hurt...but truly, these parents will inflict more hurt than the actual consequence in the long run.  Many only see their children as victims that couldn't possibly make mistakes, or teach them not to be caught, or once caught, how to 'get out of it', or worse case scenario take the matters on solely themselves and shield their children from any type of problem solving.  Some feel that their child should receive the same exact reward as everyone else...yet that child hasn't taken responsibility to earn the reward.  Some kids don't even play tag anymore because of the devastation of being 'it'.   How does this happen?   Slowly, one experience at a time.  There are too many examples to delve into.


I have two complaints that have been wearing on me that I don't feel are helping our kids...which is where the offending comes in.  

1.  Everybody wins.


One day I ran a 5k race with Nathan.  We were doing great and were about half a mile to the finish line and he says..."Mom, I think we are going to win."   A teacher, who we had passed had heard his comment and said in a matter of fact way, "Everybody is a winner, Nathan...it's about having fun."   As we pushed further up and were out of earshot...I told Nathan, "Son, that is the biggest lie you'll ever hear.  There will always be winners and losers, but it's about your attitude of how you react when you win or lose."   I am so frustrated with the mentality that everybody wins.   When I play a game, I'm not playing only for fun, I play to win.  Sometimes I do, sometimes not but I still manage to have fun regardless.  I just feel there are bigger lessons here at play.  I'm all about having fun, but do you think when I walk into a job interview and am in competition that I don't care which person gets the job...as long as I had fun?  Heck no.  I want it.  If I don't get it...I need to know how to deal with that loss. How humiliating to sit there and whine and ask.."But why??  Aren't I a winner too?"    A big frustration to me where sports are concerned is when every kid gets a trophy at competitions.  You know what I got when I lost a competition?  A ribbon.  The winner got the trophy. It made me work harder and push myself because I wanted that plastic ugly trophy.  I want my kids to learn that if they have a desire to be their best and be the best, they have to work hard and not to expect the same reward for doing less work than someone else.  I know, you're asking....if they are doing their best shouldn't they be rewarded?  Yes.  Children  should be acknowledged for doing their best but not to the same degree that the winner received.  It is a shame to the winner and to those who lost to receive equal recognition or reward.  Rewards can be given in so many ways...even compliments, which by the way last longer than any trophy.  I still remember words of encouragement given to me on the track that still are embedded in my memory today as opposed to the medals that are in a box in the attic.  Looking back, losing at times was the best reward I could've received.  Parents, it's OK for kids to lose, it's also OK for them to win.  Expectations and attitudes should be the focus.


2.  Here we go....birthday treat bags.  

Next time you have a birthday party, invite me.  I am coming to your house and I want you to supply me with a gift.  Who came up with this one?  I'm determined it was a kid who had no friends and the parents had to bribe kids to come to the party....so now here we are and feel we have to give treat bags for ANY kind of party or occasion.  I never liked the idea, but felt like I had to because everyone else was doing it and I didn't want to be the 'uncool' mom.  That lasted one year.  I could've done more for the actual event if I wouldn't have put so much time and effort in the treat bag.  Where it really hit was when one of my kids had a party where I didn't supply gifts for the guests.  One child asked...'so where's my gift?' Meaning the treat bag.  I told him I don't do that and I got the 'uncool' look.  Shouldn't kids just be excited to be invited to a party?  Why must I have to buy everyone a gift to come to my own kid's party?  Isn't the cake, activities, and hanging out with their friends enough?  It should be.  Again, to me it says...'what do I get out of going?'  And believe me...they are becoming to expect it.   How about we teach that we go to support and befriend someone, because we are celebrating their happiness?  Parents....don't feel pressured to provide for everyone else other than the person to be celebrated.  It is their day....they should feel special.  I know, again it can be viewed as a 'thanks for coming'...which is a nice gesture for guests, but again it begins to balloon into something more and eventually we put more pressure on ourselves to be better and more spectacular the next year exhausting more and more funds to do so.  I know of someone who is financially strapped who has no parties for their children because they feel the pressure of being compared to other's parties that her children have been to.  Because they cannot do more than a cake and presents for their own kids, they choose not to do a party at all.  That is a sad story, because nothing more should be required.  It's about celebrating together to honor someone... not to reward others for gracing you with their presence.  Hear my plea:  ban the bags!
   
My goal is to send my children in the world as prepared as ever and ready for anything.  That is my duty as their mother.  These two things will probably seem very minor to most, but to me, they are important as I try to look for life lessons in everything to relate as teaching moments.  It's about teaching responsibility for working hard for themselves and the responsibility they have to support others without expecting in return.  


Ok, I'm done, rant over.
Let me have it.