Years of Thanks

Brynna and I have been arguing lately regarding her wanting to get contacts.  As a refresher, Brynna is completely blind in one eye and has 20/50 vision in the other.  Glasses have always been a necessity in my eyes due to added protection, almost safety glasses if you will, to prevent something entering and damaging her only working eye.   She is turning vain like her mother in caring about looks and hears from her peers how pretty she is without her glasses.  Those planted seeds have left her determined in her goal for contacts.
Her dad gave her a glimmer of hope that contacts could be an option and I abruptly slammed the door.  I slammed it so hard it left her crying in my bed this morning.  After she had the pity party and my impatience subsided in also making an attempt to make her feel better..'when you're 18, you can do what you want, but right now, you don't have the choice'  I finally took my emotions out of it and tried to explain where I was coming from.  
I told her I've witnessed three miracles where she is concerned:
1.  She survived birth and her first few months amid multiple complications and against the odds.
2.  She functions at appropriate age level.  Again, doctors were sure she wouldn't.
3.  She has vision.  Enough that I often forget she has vision problems.
She doesn't remember her early years when every week I spent over four hours per trip on a Los Angeles freeway during rush hour taking her to doctor appointments at UCLA to salvage any type of vision.  She had multiple surgeries in which I signed waivers each time stating I understood there was a possibility she wouldn't survive.  I tried to comfort her when she was starving from fasting for surgeries in which we waited hours upon hours. I watched her shut down every time I put a patch on her eye and she looked at me as her mother for help, and I wouldn't.  I listened to her sob in her car seat on those horrendous drives across the valley and wanting to bawl my eyes out too from mental and physical exhaustion, but taking every ounce of energy to be strong and telling her to be strong because I knew one day it would be worth all the hell we were going through.   Those days seem so long ago, yet in thinking back, the feelings are still fresh. 
I told her those were all risks I was willing to take because I wanted her to see the sky, a sunrise, my face, her own smile, her spouse, her children, and not live in a world of darkness.  Those same factors are what I'm still trying to protect and reasons why I'm not willing to take the risk allowing her to wear contacts strictly for aesthetic purposes.  It won't enhance or bring any more happiness to her life, joy is found within and by golly, I worked too hard and we both sacrificed too much to get her where she is today! 
A point I felt strongly to share with her was the aspect of always 'wanting more.'   In wanting more, we often forget how much we have.  This equates directly in being ungrateful to God for all He's blessed us with.  We're telling Him He hasn't done enough.    By this point, I've realized what a hypocrite I am because I am the queen of wanting more.  What a perfect Thanksgiving gift, to be taught in trying to teach my daughter about being grateful.  
Ironically enough, today we were planning to go to the DMV to see if she can even pass an eye exam to qualify for a permit. Again, the odds are against her.   As I knelt in prayer, after our conversation and with a heavy and humbled heart, I prayed for another miracle on my daughter's behalf.  I told the Lord I am so grateful for what He has done thus far and I know He knows her and has a plan for her, but this is something important for her and we would do all we could to support her and prepare her.  I told Him I will sacrifice and go through those times of hell of teaching her to drive, worrying when she isn't home on time, stressed for cash by adding a teenager to our insurance plan.  All this so one day she can drive with her friends, drive home during breaks at college, drive for her independence, and lovingly drive her child to doctor appointments on a busy freeway across the valley to provide that child the best life possible.
We just arrived home completely awestruck and grateful for miracle number four.
I'm appreciative to be reminded of many years of blessings and the reminder that Thanksgiving needs to be in my heart  and reflected upon daily.
And congratulations to Brynna for getting the opportunity to graduate from Autopia.