Refiner's Fire

One talk I've always loved was Dallin H. Oaks, 'Good Better Best.' http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=12d72bce258f5110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

This taught of learning to forgo good things to take part of better or best things and how that will strengthen our families. I have learned recently that not only is it just 'things' of materialism, but that we ourselves must go from good to becoming better until we get to our best. This process can be painful. Anything that changes us will leaves it's mark...good or bad. Seeing the scars, remembering the pain gives us experiences to learn and grow from.

A few weeks ago, I was given a task. One that seemed daunting, exciting, impossible, refreshing. I asked Jason for a blessing so I could focus my thoughts and emotions. Instead of a comfort I received what felt like a 'hold on and brace yourself.' I was told I was going to go through a refiner's fire. Nothing could've been more true.

I've had hard times in the past. Times where I knew I was being tested. This time was different. It was days upon days filled with turmoil, continual emotional pounding, and thoughts bad enough they could tear down buildings.

I felt I had been dragged back into a dark alley for a fight. At first, it was easy to hold my ground. But after receiving kick after kick my strength wasn't sufficient. And even though I was down, the kicks continued followed by words of 'stay down', 'you can't win', and the worst one to me: 'give up.' I looked around for anyone to tell me otherwise, but my support were in their own separate alley's tackling their own fight. I wrestled with it for days. If I was doing what I was supposed to do, why was it causing so much unhappiness? Why was it consuming every aspect of my life? Why did I feel so alone and deserted? Surely, I must be doing something wrong and I wasn't the right person for the task. With each of these questions and thoughts, I weakened myself until I was left cold, beaten, crumpled in a ball on concrete ground........and that's when miracles happened. I had taken a beating, but God wasn't going to allow me to break.

Lying there, I hear a familiar voice and one I'd hadn't heard in a long time. And as if an angel appeared, an outreached hand from an old friend came and picked me up. I haven't talked to her in months. She had no idea I needed her. She just came by to tell me of a good memory she had of her and I together visiting Winter Quarters and our experiences there. She said everything I needed her to say without knowing it. And just as quickly as she came, she was gone...but this time, I was standing again.

I was reminded of truth and reminded of lies and the lives they destroy. Lies do not come from our Heavenly Father. I chose to listen to one that I despise. God chose to let me go through this experience for a stonger testimony of truth and become stalwart in my mission. His mission. No lie could dissuade me again.

So with this resolve, I go searching for my fellow comrades who are fighting and losing their own battle in their alley. We band together, united, each with similar experiences, and fight like lions. Never wanting to go through the experience again, but grateful for it, and forever changed, forever refined. Good women who became better.

I've learned we can never underestimate the love our Heavenly Father has for us. We may go through difficult times, but we are never alone and will be sent assistance when needed.

And I've learned we can never underestimate the assistance we may provide to someone in their time of need. I know my friend probably thinks she wasn't prompted. She just had a thought come to her mind and wanted to share. But I shudder to think if she wouldn't have been there. I know more dark alley's will be in my future, but after each fight, I learn and am stronger for the next. I will do better next round and never give up.

Batten Down the Hatches Scallywags!!!

Avast ye... weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen! Another year of murder mystery has taken place. Definitely, one of the best themed party we've ever had with a great dynamic group who took their roles VERY seriously. The formula of blackmail, bribery, and deceit made for an interesting night at the Salty Sea Dog.

Attendees: Pritchard's, Fechter's (Fetcherman's), Smith's, Kellis', Alger's, Lopez's, Mitchell's, Jordan's, Phipp's, and Tanner's.

At dinner, everyone took an opportunity to introduce their characters...some decided to already be in character.

The Governor and Capt'n

The victim and kiss from a grieving boyfriend stealing town hussy.

The 'ladies man' of the night. Too bad he ended up broke.

THE CAST:

MAD ROSE (A.K.A. Serving Wench) For some reason, no one called me Rose...I went by 'Wench' or 'Tart'....which I'm still trying to figure out if that was scripted. ???

Unfortunately, my other half was never around me the whole night to get a picture with.

Governor Napier and Juliana Napier

Poor Terry, I pulled a Dumb and Dumber move on him..and it worked!!! His wife asked me to get something from him. I went and told him she asked for him to give me money. When he looked at her I said loudly, 'You told him to give it to me right?' She nodded and it went flawlessly. Kuddos to Chrissy for fitting in her high school prom dress. Wear it proud while I fit one leg into mine.

Thumbless Jack and Antonia Napier

Melissa played the sweet, good girl all night which was a huge stretch for her. Jason gets props for actually eating without his thumbs and controlling his cussing for the evening.

Captain Redbeard and Breathless Betty

I wish Dennis would have been a little meaner and taken my bribe to tackle the Commodore. Kelley played a flirtatious seductive woman...something I know she's been practicing for decades.

Their outfits were AMAZING and runner up on best costume and best performer. Fortunately, she didn't go away empty handed. She was the hornswaggler of the night and was the richest player. She took home a million dollars in shredded currency courtesy of the Federal Reserve Bank. (We Tanner's know how to reward)

Merciless Morgan and Sharktooth Brandy

Wow, my new word for Joey is silk. I just wanted to touch his sleeves and watch him shimmer in the light. And Megan needs to be proud for the fact that one day when a few teeth go missing, she doesn't really look that bad. I just wish the wax would've stayed on all night. I also enjoyed how she couldn't call me names without smiling. She made it pleasant to be insulted.

Buccaneer Bradshaw and Dirty Wiggins

D.J. had a strategy for the night....but I'm still trying to figure out what it was. All I know is he was way comfortable cracking those IBC's. Coreen was our head investigator and she must have been doing her job right since she was only one of two who correctly identified the murderer.

Sealegs Sam and Jean Golddust

Richard is manifesting a pattern. He was again the murderer. Steph had the hard job of trading gold for money. Problem was...the gold coins that weren't supposed to be there that somehow got there and people tried trading with her for money. Steph made the best pirate disastrous cake ever! I wish I had a picture of it.

Commodore Clearing and Blackspot Jane

If there was an award for the best brown noser for the night, Quinn would've taken it hands down. His quest for special interests seemed all too natural. Suzanne somehow gained a british accent throughout the night along with the best costume award.

Shoutin' Roger Dagger and Gurglin' Uma Scar

Wes was my father. I now know what his children will go through and I have empathy for them. I was very impressed with Kathryn and her skills. She managed to bring fake coins and convince people they were worth 100 dollars...and she stole the evidence and charged in order for people to view it. Genius.

Cutthroat McPhearson and One-Eyed Wanda

Chris...there are no words. He definitely earned his Drama Queen award for the night. Whenever he was around I could not stay in character...I couldn't stop cracking up. Kristine was the only other person who guessed the murderer. By now I hope her depth perception is back.

Thanks to all who helped and attended in making our night fun!

Smith Halloween Party '09

A big thanks to Kelley and her family for always throwing a great party and all the work that goes into it. Last year Jason and I took away best costume. So, this year we knew we had to up our game. When we arrived, I was worried because the costumes were so creative and amazing this year. I regret I wasn't as good as I could've been with the camera. So many got left out. Our goal going into this was to think creepy and scary for Halloween. It doesn't get much creepier than this:

The Fechter's were more than willing to humiliate themselves with us and we wouldn't have won scariest costume without them. From day one of trying on these fabulous and warm snuggies...we knew we had struck gold. We had so much fun and I appreciate everyone being good sports about it (especially Tinky Winky). Now we keep thinking of all the possibilities that come from owning these fine pieces of cloth.....we are for hire for birthday parties.

The grieving black widow. I have to say, Lindsey had one of my favorite costumes. I loved the attention to detail that made it perfect from the life insurance policy to the hand sewn hankerchief of initials.

Marc Anthony and Cleopatra

Really Mean Hockey Players

Which one is the doctor? Which one is the nurse?

I couldn't resist posting this one. The impecable timing of having Tinky Winky in the backround and creating mouse like ears for the gnome.

Gnomes (Which I reminded to stay off my property)

Arrrgghh

So easy a caveman can do it.

Alfred Hitchcock's: "The Birds"

Dog the Bounty Hunter

Wednesday

The guy (Will Farrell) from Zoolander...I can't remember his name, but he played it perfectly.

Just wrong.

More Black Widows

Winners of best couple: Mimes

Marie Antoniette

Mario and Luigi

One of the four polygomist wives and black leather lady (or whatever Celina was...could've passed as cat woman in those pants).

Head Roller Derby Chic and Host: Slamma Fabulous

Kelley's new addition this year: Psycho Bathroom

Tubby Bye-Bye

Bye

Bye

Bye

Bye-Bye

U2 360 '09

One of my favorite top two concerts...ever. U2 is better live than on their CD's..if you can even imagine. The University of Phoenix Cardinal Stadium was sold out...over 90,000 people. I've never heard anything quite like when Bono turned off his microphone and had close to 90,000 people singing his song...amazing. Their stage was incredible...again, nothing I've ever seen, and I've been to a lot of concerts. If I have to say anything negative, it would've been their closing song...'Moment of Surrender'? Really? He even said at the end of the concert..'Remember us.' No one could forget U2, but honestly, then don't put us to sleep at the last song. Just a little disappointing. I loved hearing 'One.' I think this song really represents the group. Since the beginning, U2 has been a rock band with an eye on what's going on in the world, and consistently, it's songs have been about things like freedom, peace, unity, love. Plus consider all Bono's extracurriculars. I think One best encapsules that whole spirit of the band. And it's musically and lyrically a powerful song.
Here is the set list for the evening:
Breathe, Get On Your Boots, Magnificent, Mysterious Ways, Beautiful Day / Blackbird (snippet), I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For / Dirty Old Town (snippet), Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of, No Line On The Horizon, Elevation, In A Little While, Unknown Caller, Until The End Of The World, The Unforgettable Fire, City Of Blinding Lights / Mofo (snippet), Vertigo, I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight / Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) (snippet) / Two Tribes (snippet), Sunday Bloody Sunday / Rock The Casbah (snippet), MLK, Walk On / You'll Never Walk Alone (snippet)encores: One / Amazing Grace (snippet), Where The Streets Have No Name / All You Need Is Love (snippet), Ultra Violet (Light My Way), With Or Without You, Moment of Surrender

Thanks to our neighbors for setting us up with sets of free tickets.

This was the other show that was going on in front of us the entire 5 hours of concert.

And THIS is the G version.

Black Eyed Peas opened and they did a great job.

Fergie got to do "Big Girls Don't Cry" which is one of my faves.

Jason was a little nervous over marijuana inhalation, since he had a urine test for life insurance the next morning...luckily, we didn't have to worry. It was the nacho intake that most concerned me.

Gnome Update

Breaking News:
Gnomes continue to spread grief and mayhem. Some incidents of today's occurances:

Got a speeding ticket from an extremely rude DPS officer. It wasn't by radar...he supposedly 'paced' me. I knew it was a cop next to me....I thought I was in a 45. He informed me I was in a 40 and going 51mph. I know I never got over 50...more like 46/47. I also was having a hard time finding my proof of insurance, so I called Jason to have him bring me a copy. I told the officer my husband was on his way to which the officer was concerned with how long he would have to wait. When Jason got there, he waved him off rudely and said, "I don't want to see it." The more time went on, the more irriatated I became. Not because I got pulled over, but because I knew I wasn't going that speed. I continued to disagree with him and he proceeded to inform me he gets his speedometer calibrated every year. Whatever. I haven't received a ticket since 1994. After he gave me the ticket I thanked him for removing a hardened criminal off the streets. I will be appearing in court. Who wants to protest with me with their 'Save Jen' signs??

Then I called today to find out my surgery time, since I hadn't heard back from the hospital. They said they never had me scheduled. A good remainder of the day was spent on the phone working out details. They finally got me scheduled at 4 p.m. and told me nothing to eat or drink, including water after 10 p.m. the night before. Again, I had to complain. That long, with me being diabetic...you might as well shoot me. Luckily, by 5 p.m. they had it all worked out. Whew. One thing that has been on my mind is the testimony in sacrament where it was said 'the man went in for a simple knee surgery and died later in the hospital'...if I don't get rid of the gnomes by then...it could seal my fate. Again...'Save Jen' signs.

Curse-ed Gnomes

I've never been a superstitious person, until recently. A couple months ago we decided to play a prank on a particular family with an inside joke dealing with gnomes. I waited all summer for gnomes to go on clearance. We gnomed their yard. That was supposed to be the end of it...but here is a tale of a group of little bearded men, who seek to destroy lives with their plotting destuctive curses and spread of bad luck.
The night we gnomed, this family's kitchen flooded, which resulted in having to rip out their wooded floor. A few other things in their life didn't go as expected. So, I joked about burning the gnomes. Turns out, that same night BYU beat Oklahoma..which resulted in us waking up to celebratory gnomes on our doorstep. So, I took pity on them, and left them there. They looked so harmless.
Soon after,my pains began, which turned out to be kidney stones.
Most of you know of our grand entrance to the ward campout. It was actually the Kellis family (prior gnome owners) who ran over the subterranean beehive...we just happened to roll up after them and hit the hive AGAIN. We had bees swarm our car. Jason was stung a few times and Nathan as well. I will never forget the sight. You know how you watch those movies where something is happening and in your head your saying, "duh, people, react!!!!"...it was that type of moment. We were frozen not really realizing what was happening. Once we knew we had to jump ship...embarassing enough, I couldn't help but think we had to look like the bee scene from 'Tommy Boy'. Except, WITH the bees. This resulted in several others being stung and the Tanner family never being welcomed at a ward party again.
We managed to pull through and had a blast the remainder of the time, but came home to a heart break. One of our family dogs, Skippy, had gotten wrapped up in her leash outside, and couldn't reach water and died. A deep solemn came over the house the remainder of the weekend. It was so hard on the kids and I. Jason felt horrible because he made the decision not to have someone watch them and felt he let everyone down. I felt horrible that he felt so guilty. We had the funeral and buried her out back. It was interesting watching our children deal with it. Brynna was just heartbroken and took a few days to smile again. Nathan started by saying, "This isn't happening, it's just a dream." (Denial) To...."I didn't play with her as much as I play with Cleo or the computer" (Guilt) To...."This should have happened to someone else's dog!!!" (Anger) He hit all grieving emotions in the matter of 3 hours and was his normal self the next day. Although it was awful to have the kids find her and go through the experience, it was a great opportunity to do some reflection with the kids in talking about death.
Back to the gnomes:
Suzanne came for a meeting and left to find a broken window out of her van while sitting in my driveway.
I totally bit it at Castles and Coasters in front of a crowd of people. Nothing worse than a BUNCH of people asking if you're okay.
I've had endless accounts of bad luck this past month, some I cannot go into blogging.
I've tried to be patient and tell myself they are silly gnomes. But the last straw came on Friday when I found out I'm headed for surgery on Wednesday. (Details to follow later)
My question: Do I burn them, shatter them in pieces, offer them to anyone who has a vendetta, or give them to my worst enemy?

We still managed some smiles:

Many Have Asked....Here's The Answer

How do I express being released after four years of service as Relief Society President?
Bittersweet. I will now have more time to devote to other things. I can volunteer in my kids' classrooms more, read more books, have a cleaner house, dedicate more time for the school board, use less minutes on my cell phone, be more available to family and friends, and simply just be able to be a 'friend' again. Some friendships did suffer for the fact that I had to be available to more people (more to counsel than to hang out with), therefore, I was less involved with those I needed to be with to cultivate relationships. I am also excited for a new challenge with my Stake calling in the RS Presidency. I love to teach, train, and work with people so I will be able to take all I've learned and work with a broader spectrum. I will miss being in the trenches, but happy to share knowledge and ideas to help other's work in theirs.

On the flip side, this week has been hard. First, I miss those whom I've served with. Not being able to see them or talk as often has left me with the feeling that a piece of me has been removed. I relied on them for strength, support, and filling me with knowledge and truth. Also, I am dealing with the struggle that I sincerely love the women of the ward and I now feel there needs to be distance. It will be hard to know of some of their difficulties and not be able to say, "How are you doing with this or that?" Not that I will separate as a friend, but the details, I no longer need to know. They have someone else to turn to. I just need to find the right balance again. And last but not least, I'm lonely. With the mantle of the calling comes such a sweet guiding spirit that was always there, in my ear, prompting and guiding me. Once I was released, it left. I feel like I've lost my best friend.

It is a great testimony to me, that no matter who is placed in a calling, the work rolls forth. I was grateful to be an instrument in His hands and know without a doubt 'God doesn't call the qualified; but qualifies the called.'