Monday, November 30, 2009

Thanksgiving in Utah

We set off to spend the holiday with Jason's parents in Utah. As we drove up Flagstaff, I got out of the car for gas and caught the first chill that ran through every bone. How did I live in the cold for 20 years? I can handle cold, it's the wind with it that sends my teeth chattering and my body in convulsions. I was so happy I spent the money at Cabella's for wool socks. For the most part, it was beautiful there. The kids had a ball playing outside in the snow. And as a mother, it's like I had forgotten all and had the worst possible shoes and gloves for them. Luckily, Aunt Monique pulled out the Colorado gloves, which was night and day to the sock like material the kids were wearing.

Jason's sister Monique came with her family which made it feel like we were kidless. I think our kids may have come around five times...when they were hungry. The cousins always have a blast and are instantly best friends. We, as adults, had the best time. Mo is my shopping companion. Two words, Tai Pan. Need I say more? We took the truck specifically to fit all the extra cargo for the ride home. Before Friday, we went scouting for all the sale items. I talked to sales associates to find out where the placements would be. Over time, I've learned it's more about out-smarting than it is just being there on time. I must clarify one thing: Utah Mormon women are crazy. I always hit the Black Friday sales wherever I am. Never has it been as wild, ferocious, and like an episode from 'Cops' than in Utah. I've never seen security have to take people down, until Utah...AKA Zion. I've been pushed around in the past, so I drug Jason out in the wee hours as my personal body guard and point man. Hate to say it...he was worthless (in a shopping way). Not to say he didn't protect me, I was just always a good 15 feet ahead of him and he was so pokey about getting where I needed him to be. Where's the hustle? He said I was just weaving in and out too fast. Seriously? If we had been talking Hi-Def T.V...it would've been a different story. I'm sure it was all part of a calculated plan to exclude himself next year. OR he was upset with me because my Father ratted me out and told him of my prior Black Friday experience of telling Jason a white lie of being out buying something needed at Walgreens when I was really buying something I wanted at Macy's. Either way Jason: 'Your Fired' in my best Donald Trump impersonation.

On Friday, we were able to attend the lighting of Temple Square. The Salt Lake Temple is still one of the most beautiful temples to me. When I first saw a picture of it while taking the discussions, I knew how important it was and I longed to be there. Everytime I'm there, it feels right and I am thankful to be a part of something celestial.

The Tan Fam

The Berglund Crew


Love all the different nativities, especially Asian.



Cousins


SPARE TIME ACTIVITIES INCLUDED:

Going for hikes out by Grandpa and Grandma's.

Getting chased by Deer. Yes, I said deer. They are like the Utah women.

Finding hidden waterfalls.


Backrubs (Child Labor)

...more backrubs.

Conspiracy Thanksgiving Themed Table
Monique and I thought we should change things up on Mom's table centerpieces to see how long it would take others to notice our controversal inter-racial couple in lieu of seeing New Moon. "Me like Women like my turkey...White."
'Darkshadow' standing in the distance...plotting the beheading.
I missed the pilgrim man who was on the other side turned around in disgust.
There is something to be said about conversation pieces on your table.

We love small towns!! They give such good material.


Mother and I have several rounds of Scrabble. Unfortunately, she didn't win once..dirty words don't pay. And she is the queen of using dirty words in Scrabble.

I have the best in-laws in the world. They have always been so good to me and treat me as their own. I owe so much to them, especially for giving me the perfect companion.
My life is full of many blessings.
My cup runneth' over.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Refiner's Fire

One talk I've always loved was Dallin H. Oaks, 'Good Better Best.' http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=12d72bce258f5110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD


This taught of learning to forgo good things to take part of better or best things and how that will strengthen our families. I have learned recently that not only is it just 'things' of materialism, but that we ourselves must go from good to becoming better until we get to our best. This process can be painful. Anything that changes us will leaves it's mark...good or bad. Seeing the scars, remembering the pain gives us experiences to learn and grow from.


A few weeks ago, I was given a task. One that seemed daunting, exciting, impossible, refreshing. I asked Jason for a blessing so I could focus my thoughts and emotions. Instead of a comfort I received what felt like a 'hold on and brace yourself.' I was told I was going to go through a refiner's fire. Nothing could've been more true.


I've had hard times in the past. Times where I knew I was being tested. This time was different. It was days upon days filled with turmoil, continual emotional pounding, and thoughts bad enough they could tear down buildings.

I felt I had been dragged back into a dark alley for a fight. At first, it was easy to hold my ground. But after receiving kick after kick my strength wasn't sufficient. And even though I was down, the kicks continued followed by words of 'stay down', 'you can't win', and the worst one to me: 'give up.' I looked around for anyone to tell me otherwise, but my support were in their own separate alley's tackling their own fight. I wrestled with it for days. If I was doing what I was supposed to do, why was it causing so much unhappiness? Why was it consuming every aspect of my life? Why did I feel so alone and deserted? Surely, I must be doing something wrong and I wasn't the right person for the task. With each of these questions and thoughts, I weakened myself until I was left cold, beaten, crumpled in a ball on concrete ground........and that's when miracles happened. I had taken a beating, but God wasn't going to allow me to break.

Lying there, I hear a familiar voice and one I'd hadn't heard in a long time. And as if an angel appeared, an outreached hand from an old friend came and picked me up. I haven't talked to her in months. She had no idea I needed her. She just came by to tell me of a good memory she had of her and I together visiting Winter Quarters and our experiences there. She said everything I needed her to say without knowing it. And just as quickly as she came, she was gone...but this time, I was standing again.

I was reminded of truth and reminded of lies and the lives they destroy. Lies do not come from our Heavenly Father. I chose to listen to one that I despise. God chose to let me go through this experience for a stonger testimony of truth and become stalwart in my mission. His mission. No lie could dissuade me again.

So with this resolve, I go searching for my fellow comrades who are fighting and losing their own battle in their alley. We band together, united, each with similar experiences, and fight like lions. Never wanting to go through the experience again, but grateful for it, and forever changed, forever refined. Good women who became better.

I've learned we can never underestimate the love our Heavenly Father has for us. We may go through difficult times, but we are never alone and will be sent assistance when needed.
And I've learned we can never underestimate the assistance we may provide to someone in their time of need. I know my friend probably thinks she wasn't prompted. She just had a thought come to her mind and wanted to share. But I shudder to think if she wouldn't have been there. I know more dark alley's will be in my future, but after each fight, I learn and am stronger for the next. I will do better next round and never give up.

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