Eternally Grateful
I have much to be grateful for, but I have something very specific in mind. This post may make you puke. It may lead you to think I'm bragging about my spouse. Or you may be grateful you don't live with all the 'sap.' But, since it meant a lot to me I want it on record to remember, especially on the days when I want to wring his neck for buying an overly expensive T.V.
Not too long ago, Jason and I were discussing who we are...our strengths and weaknesses and spoke of what our individuality meant to ourselves, each other, and in life generally...one of those conversations that you would love to be a fly on the wall for. Very, very raw.
Jason began to use an analogy. He often will use visuals for explanations. At first it threw me, but when he was done explaining his reasoning it became very poetic and very true to who he is. He told me I was a 'flag' and he was a 'flagpole.' (Me: huh?) He proceeded to say that flags gain attention with all their brightness and are greatly admired. It carries the primary focus and flies when it's raised in the air. At first I was flattered, but felt complete guilt the next second thinking of Jason as he described himself as a flagpole. In thinking of a description of a flag pole my thoughts went to words like: plain, bare, and unnoticeable. Immediately in concern asked why he would put himself down in a condescending sense. And then truth was revealed. He said, 'Yes, it does go unnoticed but without the solid foundation of the pole, the flag would never fly...and that is it's primary purpose.'He wasn't boasting, that isn't in his character. He just described how I have felt our entire marriage. I am indebted to him for all he has done, is doing, and will do for me. He has made me soar in every possible way. And the only thing I feel I have offered him is maybe a personality 'face-lift' (seriously his personality has gone from a 3 to an 8) and have provided him with daily entertainment. Very 'worldly' things. He could have married anyone and still been who he is today. I am confident in that knowledge and it is a very humbling thing. All I can do is my best to continue to love him with every ounce I have, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it could ever be enough. I can tell you, I've never looked at a flagpole the same. It truly is magnificent and I respect it's purpose with great admiration.
So, the question of the day is....are you a flag or a flagpole?
Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
7 comments:
I am the wind beneath your wings. Or fabric.
I wish I could say I was the flagpole... but I don't think I can. However, my wonderful husband says it depends. He says when it comes to things of the gospel I am the flagpole. What I nice thing to say! :)
If I'm the flag, I'm really tattered, probably one of those holiday flags with little easter bunnies on it.
I am mostly the flag but become the flagpole when Matt flies his BYU flag..I think we take turns....maybe
I think Chop and I take turns too - maybe. This is one of those conversations that has to take place at the right time or it just becomes one of those conversations I think I'd like to have with Chop until we actually start having it...
Funny, I was telling Lindsey about my "plans to make some spending $ and help out with things again, and that Dennis (upon hearing my plans) told me to just "keep making the world a better place" and his most important goal in life was to help me do that. She told me to read your post. We are lucky to have partnered up with some pretty fabulous men. :)
Once again I say, You need to be a writer. Love ya and Happy Thanksgiving, Friend.
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