The Modern Day Marvel (Things That Make You Go Hmm)

A new drug has plagued our society. A drug that exposes the innermost thoughts of millions for all to know. Codename: Facebook.
Yes, I have a facebook account that I check most every day. I do know of some that check it hourly and some who have it as a permanent screensaver. Basically, addicted and a slave to it.
One of the best things about Facebook is reconnecting with people that you've "lost." I've lost touch with so many as we are all spread globally, yet, I've been able to reconnect and see their updates and family pictures. It truly has been wonderful.
The other "best" thing about Facebook is the never-ending stream of status updates. You can change it according to your mood, activity, private joke, song lyrics, sports smack talk, you name it. In return, you comment on other people's statuses, agree with them, tease them, debate, etc. I know, I know. You know how Facebook works. But I am going somewhere here. This is a Simple Etiquette take on facebook.

Anyway, the FB status update is unique that everyone in your network has the ability to have access to your thoughts. I have around 350 friends with this access. These friends include a variety of people. Some are friends from school, friends of today, friends from church. Some are professional colleagues and professional acquaintances...yes, even people from my doctor's office requested to be my friend. (?) And so, when I post my status updates, I have to think, at least for a moment, about whether I want all 350 of these people to know that I can't stand my HOA, or my disdain of how dirty my husband's truck is, or how I really wish I hadn't had that extra piece of pizza at lunch.
I'm just saying -- remember the two rules of communication: (1) consider your audience (2) consider your message. This is why I am amazed at the things people write for their status updates. Some examples:

...Was on the treadmill for one hour and elliptical for another 45 minutes.
...When am I going to be happy with my weight...I miss my size 5's.
...really hates people who pretend to be your friend and then TURN ON YOU and stab you in the back.
...can't believe her boyfriend decided that he wanted to see other people. I guess all those "I love yous" didn't mean anything after all. I'm over it. Men are pigs!
...hates Monday morning. Why is it Monday again? Dreading the huge pile of work I have to do today! Waaaaanh!
...knows that there has to be some point to life. But just wonders why I have to put up with so much drama and when I have had my fair share already!
True stories.

Here is my take:

1) Everyone hates Monday.

We don't need to know EVERY Monday your feelings on Mondays. We get it. Very few people in the world spring out of bed each morning to go tackle their jobs, which they love and adore. Most of us make daily efforts to enjoy our time at the grindstone, find the joy, do the work, and reap the rewards. A reminder that it is Monday brings everyone down. Enough, Debbie Downer!

2) Your FB circle is not your personal trainer.

I totally respect and appreciate status updates where people say they enjoyed their run/trip to the gym/bike ride/or kid's game. It's great to know what people are up to in their spare time, and sometimes those updates can be a great motivator to get out there! However, I differentiate when the status update reads like a workout journal entry, a justification, or a call for praise. . See, this is where the extended nature of the Facebook network comes into play. I don't need my board member colleagues and my friends in professional offices to know how long I spent on the treadmill or that I feel like I have a triple chin coming on. Why on earth would I want to share that with everyone I have deemed FB friend-worthy? No way.

3) Your FB circle is not your therapist.

Let me be clear: While being on FB and chatting with new and long-lost friends may be therapeutic, your FB status is not the place to look for epiphanies or getting professional marriage counseling. If you need therapy, get it, but airing dirty laundry in life via facebook for professional advice just isn't right.

4) Friend drama does not make a status update.

So, you got in a fight with your friend. You eventually will make up...yet, we, your facebook friends, don't get to see that process unfold. So, we are left with these statements about your friends that you have so publically 'thrown under the bus.' Even more awkward if your friend is ALSO my friend.

5) Trashing your ex in your status makes you look trashy.

He might be a total slimeball, and he might have broken your heart. But I promise that using your status update to share those raw emotions with your entire FB circle won't make you heal faster, feel better, or even make him flinch. Quite the opposite, in fact. You run the risk of putting your bruised heart on your online sleeve for everyone to see. And let's face it, it's best to lick your wounds in private.


So, to sum up for status updates on Facebook: be sarcastic, observant, informative, wry, cryptic, punny, contradictory, opinionated, or bold. Just don't whine about work, life, Monday, your sucky friend/ex-friend/significant other/ex-significant other. Stay in control..because now we have the ability to read your thoughts.