Gnome Update

Breaking News:
Gnomes continue to spread grief and mayhem. Some incidents of today's occurances:

Got a speeding ticket from an extremely rude DPS officer. It wasn't by radar...he supposedly 'paced' me. I knew it was a cop next to me....I thought I was in a 45. He informed me I was in a 40 and going 51mph. I know I never got over 50...more like 46/47. I also was having a hard time finding my proof of insurance, so I called Jason to have him bring me a copy. I told the officer my husband was on his way to which the officer was concerned with how long he would have to wait. When Jason got there, he waved him off rudely and said, "I don't want to see it." The more time went on, the more irriatated I became. Not because I got pulled over, but because I knew I wasn't going that speed. I continued to disagree with him and he proceeded to inform me he gets his speedometer calibrated every year. Whatever. I haven't received a ticket since 1994. After he gave me the ticket I thanked him for removing a hardened criminal off the streets. I will be appearing in court. Who wants to protest with me with their 'Save Jen' signs??

Then I called today to find out my surgery time, since I hadn't heard back from the hospital. They said they never had me scheduled. A good remainder of the day was spent on the phone working out details. They finally got me scheduled at 4 p.m. and told me nothing to eat or drink, including water after 10 p.m. the night before. Again, I had to complain. That long, with me being diabetic...you might as well shoot me. Luckily, by 5 p.m. they had it all worked out. Whew. One thing that has been on my mind is the testimony in sacrament where it was said 'the man went in for a simple knee surgery and died later in the hospital'...if I don't get rid of the gnomes by then...it could seal my fate. Again...'Save Jen' signs.

Curse-ed Gnomes

I've never been a superstitious person, until recently. A couple months ago we decided to play a prank on a particular family with an inside joke dealing with gnomes. I waited all summer for gnomes to go on clearance. We gnomed their yard. That was supposed to be the end of it...but here is a tale of a group of little bearded men, who seek to destroy lives with their plotting destuctive curses and spread of bad luck.
The night we gnomed, this family's kitchen flooded, which resulted in having to rip out their wooded floor. A few other things in their life didn't go as expected. So, I joked about burning the gnomes. Turns out, that same night BYU beat Oklahoma..which resulted in us waking up to celebratory gnomes on our doorstep. So, I took pity on them, and left them there. They looked so harmless.
Soon after,my pains began, which turned out to be kidney stones.
Most of you know of our grand entrance to the ward campout. It was actually the Kellis family (prior gnome owners) who ran over the subterranean beehive...we just happened to roll up after them and hit the hive AGAIN. We had bees swarm our car. Jason was stung a few times and Nathan as well. I will never forget the sight. You know how you watch those movies where something is happening and in your head your saying, "duh, people, react!!!!"...it was that type of moment. We were frozen not really realizing what was happening. Once we knew we had to jump ship...embarassing enough, I couldn't help but think we had to look like the bee scene from 'Tommy Boy'. Except, WITH the bees. This resulted in several others being stung and the Tanner family never being welcomed at a ward party again.
We managed to pull through and had a blast the remainder of the time, but came home to a heart break. One of our family dogs, Skippy, had gotten wrapped up in her leash outside, and couldn't reach water and died. A deep solemn came over the house the remainder of the weekend. It was so hard on the kids and I. Jason felt horrible because he made the decision not to have someone watch them and felt he let everyone down. I felt horrible that he felt so guilty. We had the funeral and buried her out back. It was interesting watching our children deal with it. Brynna was just heartbroken and took a few days to smile again. Nathan started by saying, "This isn't happening, it's just a dream." (Denial) To...."I didn't play with her as much as I play with Cleo or the computer" (Guilt) To...."This should have happened to someone else's dog!!!" (Anger) He hit all grieving emotions in the matter of 3 hours and was his normal self the next day. Although it was awful to have the kids find her and go through the experience, it was a great opportunity to do some reflection with the kids in talking about death.
Back to the gnomes:
Suzanne came for a meeting and left to find a broken window out of her van while sitting in my driveway.
I totally bit it at Castles and Coasters in front of a crowd of people. Nothing worse than a BUNCH of people asking if you're okay.
I've had endless accounts of bad luck this past month, some I cannot go into blogging.
I've tried to be patient and tell myself they are silly gnomes. But the last straw came on Friday when I found out I'm headed for surgery on Wednesday. (Details to follow later)
My question: Do I burn them, shatter them in pieces, offer them to anyone who has a vendetta, or give them to my worst enemy?

We still managed some smiles: