16 Years Later...I'm Still Up With Her In the Middle of the Night

It's poetic, really.  I used to have to drag my body out of bed for late night feedings with the kids a decade ago in the middle of the night.  Now, I am dragging them out of a deep sleep in the middle of the night for their responsibilities.   Yesterday, Brynna had hours worth of homework and projects to work on added upon seminary at 5:45a.m., 6 miles worth of cross country, piano lessons, and daily chores.  I half felt empathy for her, but then I  remembered  having heavy schedules in my high school years and realized those hard accomplishments taught me valuable lessons about priorities and finding balance.  Never mind, I didn't feel bad for her.  Enjoy that youthful 16 year old body while you still can! I headed up to bed at midnight and decided to check in on her since her light was still on.  I open the door to a girl sprawled out asleep on her floor, drool spilling out near her not even half completed project.  A little tidbit about Brynna, once her body goes horizontal sleep is inevitable.  I awoke her as I was upset she allowed herself to succumb to sleep realizing all the work she still had to accomplish.  I could have let her keep snoozing so she would wake up and learn a hard lesson, but that isn't in me.  Her lesson would come in extreme drowsiness from being up another few hours. After the 'lecture', I went to my room and laid down on my bed awaiting beautiful, peaceful sleep.  In about five minutes I had a softening of heart as memories flooded my mind of being up with her in the middle of the night in her infant and toddler years.  She needed my help then, and she could definitely use my help now.  I grabbed the markers instead of a bottle and went to her room.  Instead of holding her in my arms, I laid next to her on the ground and we worked side by side in the quiet of the night.  While both exhausted, it was those quiet moments that I know we both cherish. We were there when we needed each other.  She needed me, and as a mom I need to be needed. I'm grateful these opportunities still come even if they may not always be pleasant. Whether helping her through drama turmoil until 4 in the morning, sitting awake in the late hours because she wanted to talk about her date or night out with friends, or working on homework projects together, I am thankful because at times, these are the only private moments we have anymore. When she was little it was those late hours where I saw her early first smiles and heard her first words almost as if they were reserved especially for me as a reward for my late night sacrifice. Today, these late hours are still what binds us as we are able to have precious uninterrupted time together and share all the thoughts and emotions that seem to be trapped under the surface during the busyness of the day.  I'm still being blessed for my sacrifice. Sleeping through the night is overrated and much can be missed in all those hours.