Two years ago I posed the question, "Has Facebook Ruined Reunions?" I had convinced myself that with current technology, the curiosity factor which draws individuals to reunions had tamed. I had convinced myself that those with whom I wanted to be associating with, I currently was in contact with.
This year was my 20 year reunion and my friend Ryan and I seriously contemplated going due to the reasons above among others. The cost was roughly $350 for flight alone, then came the question if conversations would feel forced or how we'd cope with the awkward silences once all questions were answered. Not to mention, yes, I still have the playful and immature 16 year old in me, but altogether I feel life experiences have changed me into a whole new person...would these individuals, some of whom I spent 13 years with, even recognize me anymore?
Perhaps not recognizing me would be a blessing. We can be so self centered in those teenage years. I recently was told by a classmate of issues and trials she dealt with during school. I had no idea. I was angry with myself because I could have been a better friend. I didn't know about her life because when I look back, I don't know if I really put in the effort to invest in anyone other than myself and my own issues. That person, that old Jen, is so far removed from who I am today but isn't something I can publicize at a two day reunion event without sounding like an oaf or someone trying to over-sell oneself.
My husband finally posed the question, 'Will you regret it if you don't go?' The answer was yes. I recognized that I have changed enough to let the excuses and insecurities go. What matters most to me in this life other than my family are people and relationships. These classmates helped mold and shape me, and were quite often my family in my youth without them ever realizing it. How could I let this opportunity slip by?
I was extremely grateful I went. I was surprised at how many felt similar feelings primarily being nervous about attending. I didn't feel quite so alone in my apprehension and upon others realizing this, everyone was able to breathe a little easier knowing we were all somewhat in the same boat.
We talked at times until 5 a.m. Old yearbooks and pictures came out. We each talked about memories we had individually which sparked memories, stories and laughter that I had forgotten. It was like being home again.
We have all been in different directions and have had different lives, but I'm proud of my fellow classmates, proud to associate with them, and proud they are brave and courageous to step into a situation that may not be comfortable. This strength is what I remember and somehow being in a room again with them strengthened me.
So I proved myself wrong, again. For those who say, 'I only stay in contact with only those who I want to, I don't need a reunion' here is my response: I have close friends I still associate with, but just because I don't associate with every individual in my high school graduation class doesn't mean they aren't a friend. Some will never know of what a kind gesture they did for me on a particular day made that day bearable, but when I see their face 20 years later, I am reminded of that gesture and their goodness and how I need to follow their example. For those who say Facebook ruined reunions, my response today is: only if we let it. Sure we can see pictures of one another, find out what profession we each are involved in, and leave a snarky comment once in awhile but nothing can replace a real conversation while looking someone in the eye, or give a hug that says you'll always be family.
Stay classy class of '93.
PS) Hi Scott.
