Life: It's The Little Things...Like Sweet Revenge

I had several inquiries regarding my latest Facebook post.  Worse, is that I think many didn't understand it is, in fact, a joke and now feel my kid's school principal is off her rocker. While that may be the case, it's not because of this (me).

Some people enjoy antique cars, collecting butterflies, or sewing as hobbies to bring happiness to their lives.  My hobby is pranks.  Pranks make me happy.  Something about plotting late at night keeps my mind in pristine condition.  As a side note, you should feel quite honored if I ever pull one over on you, because I do take time and effort in doing so.

I was at an awards ceremony a couple weeks ago.  Ms. Honne came to me saying she wanted to relay a story about Nathan.  Usually these don't end well, but she assured me it was funny.

A few weeks ago, Nathan's class won the McTeacher night challenge of being the class with the largest amount of students from one class to attend McDonald's for a school fundraiser.  As a reward, the class gets to throw pies at either the Principal or Assistant Principal.  Ms. Honne entered the class and was coaxing the children to throw pies at her counter part.  Nathan told her he had full intention of throwing a pie at her.  She then threatened him with an infraction.  And Nathan, being a chip off the ol' block, doesn't back down from a challenge and therefore threatened her right back by affirming, "My mom can fire you!"

As she's telling me this and others were around, I was mortified.  Sure, he's witty, and meant to be funny,but it struck a nerve.  As a board member we cannot simply fire anyone we want.  In fact, the Superintendent is the only employee whom we can, and even then it has to be by a majority vote.  I was embarrassed because there are board members (no matter where you go) that feel it is quite appropriate to threaten staff.  Especially at my kids' schools, I want staff to see and know me as 'Mom' and not 'board member'.  I'm extremely sensitive to it and don't ever want others to feel I am looking over their shoulders. I'm the same person I was 4 years ago, being a board member doesn't change my personality or my values.
Before I was made aware of this situation I had found it odd that one particular day while volunteering in the classroom I had multiple questions from students regarding if I was the principal's boss.  It all finally clicked.

The next day, I had to have a sit down strict talk and rehearse to Nathan my role and I did so complete with diagrams.  He seemed a bit bummed.  I also found out Ms. Honne felt bad about getting Nathan in trouble, so she found him and apologized.

In relating the scenario to the teacher, she made me aware she knew all about it and to not take it so personally.  She informed me Ms. Honne never meant for me to feel bad, get Nathan in trouble and is one of the most sarcastic people I'd ever meet who loves to also prank people.  Whaaa?  I would've never guessed...she seems so serious, and apparently some feel the same regarding me.  I found out there are people scared of me.  I know, right?  I'm the single most nicest and hilarious person you'd ever meet!   So, I decided to let my hair down and show my true self.

As I left the school that day, I decided to ask the front secretary for a piece of paper so I could write Ms. Honne a note.  It went like this:

Ms. Honne,

I saw that nasty look you gave me when I walked in the cafeteria today.  Just know I have my eye on you and that I CAN fire you.

With Love,
Jen Tanner

As I beamed with pride leaving and walking out to the parking lot, it suddenly crossed my mind I had just left a threatening letter IN WRITING.  Idiot!! I didn't think that one through. I knew I was doomed for sure.

I heard nothing for days, and then opened my mail yesterday to receive this letter:

   I have to give her kudos, for a brief second I took it seriously.  She one upped me!!!
Well played Ms. Honne, well played.
So, with every great prank, comes the next step.  My next step is a restraining order:

Now I'm waiting to talk to (bribe) my neighbor cop to have him show up to deliver it. This makes me happy.  This is what life's all about.

So, who's next?

Life and Death

My dad died at the age of 37.  It was extremely unexpected. My brother and I were with him at a University of Nebraska football game.  Out of nowhere he fell and was never responsive again despite being administered CPR within a couple of minutes. Heart attack or 'natural causes' was deemed the reason for death. The year after I barely recall anything.  At times, people will bring up experiences and happenings during those freshman and sophomore years and it's as if my memory has been wiped clean.  It's frustrating at times but a blessing in others.  I wonder in my case if it's better to remember or to forget.  Interesting how our bodies will do what they must to be in survival mode.  That's how I would describe that time, I was on autopilot survival day after day.One thing I remember clearly is how everyone would continually say, 'he died so young.'  And while I knew my dad wasn't an old man aging in a nursing home, in my 14 year old mind, 37 didn't seem too young.  I thought to myself, 'Why does everyone keep saying that? He lived a long life.'
Now, I'm a few months shy of being 37.  I have so many dreams and aspirations, so much yet to accomplish.  I have such a zest for life, and frankly have a lot of making up to do due to time wasted doing stupid things in the past.   I can't imagine being done with this earthy life right now, I am too young.  I get it now.
Yesterday, I was shocked upon finding out a classmate of mine died at the age of 37 from 'natural causes' very similar to my dad's situation.  Something about the 'natural causes' has left me shaken and has left a dark cloud hanging over me.  It's bad enough when tragedy strikes from a car accident, house fire, or from a known medical condition, but there is nothing 'natural' to me about leaving this life at 37 from a failed heart.  The ironic thing of this scenario is Mike was one of my friends who was there for me when my dad died.  His kind words and compassion aided me in continuing in my survival mode function until my brain and heart were ready to be awakened again.   I can't recall anything he specifically said to me, I just remember his kindness, smile, and brutal sarcasm at times.  It was a comfort needed to keep my feet moving one foot in front of another and something I'm quite positive I never thanked him for.  Now my hope is that someone like him will be there to aid his loved ones at this time as they will likewise be in survival mode for a time.
This circle of life amazes me.  Here I am, 36 with a 14 year old daughter.  My hopes and dreams for her are probably very similar to what my dad had for me.  I see myself as part of those dreams as I instruct her how to drive, teach her how to maintain her first home, help her plan her wedding, hold her newborn babies, and go on family vacations together.  Yet, these experiences of death teach me I'm not in control nor will ever be in control.  I can only focus on the control I have with each breath I take and the actions I choose to make with each moment of life I've been given.  Why do we waste so many moments?  
I'm grateful for Easter, especially during this particular time.  I'm grateful to be reminded that while sadness befalls us, it is just for a short while in the grand scheme of things.  We can and will be reunited with our loved ones all because one remarkable and perfect man died to make it possible.  I am thankful for Jesus Christ and his death but more importantly for His life.  And while death is filled with sorrow, the legacy and example of an individual life can help fill the void of emptiness.  Remembering what our loved ones did with their lives is a blessing to remind us what to do with ours. I'm thankful to all my wonderful examples who teach me about life each and everyday and knowing in my future day of death, I will again be surrounded by amazing individuals.
Happy Easter.

Capable Hands

This entry isn't a rant or meant to be preachy or even sarcastic. I've written this as a reminder on those days when I'm feeling bored, being unproductive, or feel God is a distant Being completely tuned out to who we are as individuals.   I have a friend of whom I visit often.  I've known her roughly ten years.  She is a few decades older than me, has much to complain about, and is a complete pessimist.  We didn't start out as friends. I came to know her through a mutual acquaintance.  I remember in the beginning being intimidated by her.  She has no problem telling someone off to their face. I can appear tough or that I always have a comeback, but especially with my elders I've been trained to shut up and take it like a man so I feared I'd be left torn to shreds with her sharp as knives words.  She's very opinionated and can make you feel two inches tall if you disagree with her.  Yet, over time I've broken her down and she takes it when I laugh at her while she's complaining and I'll tell her to 'suck it up' when she's being a pessimist.  She's even called me for advice on occasion.  She actually appreciates my sarcasm and opinions and I've come to find myself more comfortable around her than I am with most. She suffers from a myriad of health issues and is home bound about ninety percent of the time, therefore she also suffers from depression and is addicted to pain medication.  Her husband came to me a few months ago concerned for her behalf.  Because she is home bound, she doesn't make it to church and does not consistently read scriptures or other church doctrinal books therefore her testimony has become unsteady on some basic gospel principles.  After listening intently, my mind instantly knew I needed to really pray for her.  So in my prayers I would pray that Heavenly Father would help give her a desire to study so her knowledge and faith would increase.  And that seemed sufficient.In my own personal studies I have been reading Daughters In My Kingdom.  Seriously, one of my favorite inspirational books of all time.  It teaches of the history and work of the Relief Society Organization.  When I read of these women, I am inspired to do more and be more than who I am.  I watched this video from the website and between it and reading the book I am a changed woman.   I realized in my prayers, especially for my friend, I was putting everything on God's shoulders to do all the work failing to realize I could and needed to help assist Him in doing so.  That night my prayers changed.Instead of asking Him to give her a desire to change, I asked how I could help Him to help her.  After praying, I sat quietly thinking about my question and at that moment three words came to my mind along with a complete feeling of peace in my heart.  The words were:  "Read with her."  When I approached her about it, I wondered if it would be awkward.  I didn't tell her of the the personal experience I had, just that I felt it was something we both needed.  Not only did she accept, but did so with so much enthusiasm that at that moment I had confirmation that I had done the exact thing I was supposed to be doing in that moment.And so we now meet twice a month and study topics we assign to each other.  Not only is both of our faith and knowledge increasing, but our friendship continues to strengthen and I just love this woman with every fiber of my being.  What a difference a few words made in a prayer for two lives.
I post this because I am thankful that an all powerful and knowing God has given me, a weak human being with oceans full of faults, capable hands to assist Him in His work here upon the Earth. What an honor we have been given if we only ask. I am thankful for an answer to a more thought out and sincere prayer and the inspiration from others' examples to realize my potential is more than I give myself credit for.