Behold...Your Teenagers

 Many hear the word 'teenager' and associate it with negative connotation.  I believe teenagers are the sleeping giants who have the potential to change society in a way we adults never can or could. I realize that stating one teenager is like another is like associating one food in describing all.  But I'm talking about my teenager.  I have been preparing ever since she was a baby for these teenager years when she would become a 'menace to society.'  I heard many horror stories from other mothers of their personal stories with their teens.  I'd seen Fast Times at Ridgemont High one too many times.  And moreover I mostly feared and half expected her to become like her own mother.  I believe I was every parent's nightmare of which mine should receive a full pardon of any of their sinful acts alone on the fact that they survived a few years of mine.  
I fool myself at times by thinking somehow I'm responsible for who she is and who she is becoming.  I know I play a piece in that role, but my major star role diminishes daily.  I've become the old actress who no one wants to hire except for when they're desperate. Others have now stepped up to fill the roles that I no longer can. 
 I look at the above picture and feel happy.  I'm happy because she is so happy.  She is happy because she surrounds herself with great people (teenagers and other adult influences) whom she sets as her standard as role models.  I realize as her mother, I am not capable of being everywhere she needs me to be, when she needs me and how she needs me.  But at every turn I can see faces like the ones above who can be and are. There are times she has shared with us of struggles and difficult days and the people who've said the right thing without being consciously aware of her situation, which ultimately helped bring a great change in her.  Who she is and who she is becoming is largely due to the teenagers in her life who are courageous in doing what's right.  They cling together in schools where many others have much different standards. By doing so, they are unified and protect one another yet aren't exclusive to themselves.  They are actively trying to make a difference.  And they are... even if it's with one another.
For those who dread the teenage years, don't assume the worst but expect the best.  They may just be living up to the expectation that was labeled upon them.  The ones who criticize the generation forget who raised it.   

Did you hug a teenager today?? (Just don't do it around their friends)

Home Transformation: Stage 1

We are moved!  I feel like we'll be unpacking boxes for...ever.  The difficulty is that I have many things I want to focus on to make this home mine while unpacking in the process.  I need a clone to get everything done, the way I want done, and the time frame I want it done in.  Jason is a pretty good clone, but he's also counter-acting the process as he breaks things along the way.  Plus, since he works all day the last thing he desires to do when he gets home is to work on the home while listening to my perfectionism ways as I ask him to re-do something or tell him how to do his Jimmie Rig jobs.
I will probably post things over the next year on house updates as it will be a work in progress.  My first line of business was the kitchen since that's where I spend most my time.  Not because I'm busy baking all day, but that's where we seem to congregate as a family while staring into the refrigerator.  
First, the cabinets were not my style.  I'm not an oak person.  I love the color yellow, but not as a kitchen/ceiling color and it seemed to clash with the granite and tile back splash.  To me, it was too country for my taste and I wanted a style that was classic and timeless.  When we first looked at the house, the kitchen was the only big hold up for me.  Once I convinced myself that I could copy it to the image which was in my head-- there was no stopping me.  Summing up what I pretty much said to Jason was, 'This is what I'm doing, and don't try to stop me.'   Fortunately he trusts my judgement.  The only question he's learned to ask is, 'How much is this going to cost me?'  My answer...honey, you can't put a price tag on this:
BEFORE:

AFTER:

I've ALWAYS wanted to do black cabinets, but in my other homes the lack of light would've made it look like a dungeon.  With all the light in the kitchen, the colors in the granite, tile, and with my new paint job I thought it looked ah-mazing.  We replaced the almond color appliances with stainless steel.  We got great deals...with all appliances a year old (with the exception of the microwave being brand new) on Craig's list, all for $900.

I decided to paint the cabinets rather than stain them.  The longest part was taking the hardware off.  Just a little sanding, prime work, and Dunn-Edwards paint mixed with a tiny bit of water so it would go on thin enough without streaks and allow the wood grain to show through like so:

And for the final step, I added all stainless steel knobs to match the appliances.I'm in love with my kitchen and admit sometimes I just sit and stare at it.  Now if I can just bewitch my way through the rest of the house...

Break the Chain

I've never been one who's good at being forced to do something.  If I do something, 90 percent of the time it's because I want to not because I have to.  It's easier to be sincere in that respect.  One of my first tastes of feeling bitter over being forced to do something, other than chores assigned by my parents, was the infamous chain letter.  At first I thought, 'what a genius idea!' and got to know the in's and out's of learning how it worked after receiving one.
  Chain letters are letters which promise a phenomenal return on a small effort. The simplest form of a chain letter contains a list of x people. You are supposed to send something to the top person on the list. Then you remove the top person on the list, sliding the second person into the top position, add yourself in the bottom position, make y copies of the letter, and mail them to your friends. The promise is that you will eventually receive y of x somethings in return.  You do this assuming that everyone on the list is honest and just perpetuating the "chain."  
This is where my problem came in.  So if I didn't do it, was I being dishonest, a let down, and supposed to be guilt ridden?  The fun and excitement instantly faded when I felt I'd been locked in to something that now was a chore. I didn't control who sent me the letter, why was I suddenly under contract?  Sure, I had my time to let them know I wasn't going to participate...which made me look like a snob, irresponsible, or resulted in making up a lame excuse of why I couldn't do their chain.  It was a no win situation and so I ended up doing it anyway and hating every minute of it, meanwhile hardly ever receiving anything in the mail in return.  And then I thought, did these people really want to be sending this letter to me, or were they just going through the motions?  It made the sincerity of the project seem less genuine.  
Now, years later I'm seeing a new version of chain letters.  It doesn't cost a thing and really doesn't take any time, but it still leaves me with the same feelings.  I'm sure most of you have done this, so it's nothing against you personally, I just have my usual opinion of it.
Facebook posts.  Here are several examples and see if you can pull out what has me irritated:
A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 14. People call another guy fat. No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be over weight. People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re post this if you're against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 99% of you won't.♥

Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure out what the letters stood for. Well its time you became informed! (A) Almost boobs. (B) Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn!(E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up! ~Repost if u love a good laugh.

A mom ALWAYS thinks about her kids, even if they're not with her.
♥ A mom loves her kids in a way that they will never understand (until they have their own).
♥ A mom will be there for her kids when no one else will.
♥ A mom will catch a grenade, take a bullet, stand in front of a train, & ask God to take her instead of her child.
♥ If you have children that you love as much as I love mine, post this as your status.
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! MY GENERATION GREW UP RECITING THIS EVERY MORNING IN SCHOOL WITH MY HAND ON MY HEART. THEY NO LONGER DO THAT FOR FEAR OF OFFENDING SOMEONE! LET'S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL RE-POST THIS AND NOT CARE ABOUT OFFENDING SOMEONE.

A person has 1000 wishes. A soldier only has one, to come home safe to his family. I know 97% of you won't post this as your status, but the 3% that do are my friends.
When u carry a Bible, the devil gets a headache. When u open it, he collapses. When he see's u reading it, he faints. When he see's u living it, he flees. And just when ur about 2 re-post this, he will try & and;discourage u. I just defeated him. Like, Copy & and paste if ur in God's Army.

These are just a few within the last day that I've seen stream across.  I'm perfectly fine with posting feelings about parenthood, religion, America, soldiers, etc. but it's the last sentence that sends my annoyance on overdrive.  So, if I don't re-post I'm:  1. In support of bullying and stereotyping.  2.  Don't enjoy laughing.  3.  I don't love my children as much as you love yours.  4.  I fear offending someone.  5.  Am threatened at the fact that the 3 percent who do re-post are only your true friends.  6.  OR that I am easily defeated by the devil and am not in God's Army.
FYI, if I want to re-post it, I will.  Don't use threats and guilt as a way to spread the message.  Please, I beg people...BREAK THE CHAIN!!
*Re-post if you agree with me.